I’m sitting here with sweaty balls, drinking a cold Natty Ice (goddamn, that’s a fucked up can of hillbilly piss) and watching network TV.

Jesus Christ.  What the fuck is up with people today?

First off, we got House.  Fuck you Dr House.  I swear to Christ, if that was my doctor I’d cripple his other leg.  And what the fuck?  Is this a hospital or a porno?  The last time I saw that many hot doctors was on a lil’ movie called “One Flew Into The Poopoo’s Nest.”

Then I flip it to some show called “Bachelor Pad.”  I have no idea what’s going on, really don’t care and throw an empty beer at my TV in disgust.  One of the broads, as she’s getting escorted off by another broad that looks just like her only one has blond hair and the other is a brunette, says that “maybe I should have flashed my boobs and he would have picked me.”  It may have worked; I’m pretty sure that’s what my ma’ did to get my pop.  Then again I haven’t seen the old man since he was busted for forging pennies…

I get distracted for a minute as I turn it to what I think is an awesome show with robots, lasers and badass hover tanks but in actuality it’s just a commercial for Army recruitment.

Shit!  When did the army become so awesome?

Anyway, I watch “Two and a Half Men” in a seething rage only because I laugh once, and that’s for the help-a-dying-kid-in-Africa commercial.

Then “The Big Bang Theory” makes me want to strangle the next kid I see with an Apple Laptop and a Batman t-shirt. 

Now I get to go to sleep, have terrifying nightmares and wake up for my 6:30 commute.

Thanks network TV.