I gotta be frank; I’m horny as shit.

Gorilla-fuck horny.

So there I was, a typical mook, shopping at the local Fresh and Sleezy, buying a flank steak, booze and some eggs, when she sauntered in.

My god. All of 5’11” and build like… well, something built like something that’ll give me a dimond-cutting erection.

So I was pretending to know how to pick out, whatdoyoucallem? Yeah, vegetables when she pushes her cart close to mine and she smiles.

Goddamn.

I try to fake a smile when her boyfriend walks over, hands her the car keys and starts joking with her.

…

Sad thing?

Longest relationship I’ve ever had.