what i feel like goddamn writing

Notes from The Valley part 11

Happy birthday to me…

You know, the real reason I even recognize my birthday is for the lady that gave birth to the sorry sack of shit that’s writing this.

My ma.

So as a special treat, I’ll share with all 1 of you some of the things my ma told me growing up.

• Don’t take shit from no one.

• Never trust a man with missing limbs, especially at the track.

• If you ever meet a guy named “Bob the blob,” kick him in his dick.

• At a strip joint, never tip the bartender.

• You have a gun to a man’s head, you better pull the trigger. Don’t be a fag.

• Always keep a 20 in your sock.